demotivated.

It seems like quite some time I didn't feel as emo and as giving up as now, didn't I?
I hope I am.
I'm so unhappy! I really hope it's only because I'm too tired and a very good rest will do good deeds for me :(

Sigh .. I'm feeling like giving up again. No energy, too tired, too negligence to bother about everything that happen arounds me. Why must life be like this? I keep ask myself, what can I do about it? What can I do? What can I do? But really no answers had been shine down on me. I'm so tired of trying to figuring out what can I do! There is nothing I can do! No. It's not. I do believe everything has an answer to it. But .. perhaps .. I really don't want to go down that road to dig up the answers and solve all the so-call problems.

That's what I hate about growing up. Mainly is because you don't know who you can trust anymore. One moment, that person seem like an angel giving you a shine of hope, but in a split second, that same person turns into devil leading you to a death end. Sucks! Recalled back while I am a kid. We do bitching around. We do annoyed each other. But why now I feels, that is all purely means nothing and means no harm. Coz in the end, we still hang around together. But in this SO-CALL grown up world, a little action/ words do means a big harm? I don't understand this. Is it because I'm taking all that too seriously, now? Which I don't think 0% of it is a yes.

And I don't understand how to pretend as nothing is wrong. One second you backstab, the next second you smile. Sucks! I am that straight! I am that direct! I am doing no good for doing what I am doing. So? What can I do?

Life is so unfair. Reality is that cruel. And it feels so sucks for not knowing how to fake things up. It feels so sucks for not knowing how to fight back. Neither way. I'm too tired to bother. Coz in the end, what do you get? It's not what I want. I'm that negligence. Sue me for that.

Why must we fight for our own right? I just want a simple peaceful life.